Philophobia

There's a certain someone who has filed a request for my heart, but I am afraid of letting him have it. It's a poisonous concoction of insecurity, fear, desire, and anxiety that I just need to swallow and get over with. If I do, I could be very happy.

If.

This song just makes sense right now.

Jazmine Sullivan - Lions, Tigers, Bears

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love you and you love me,
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be
I can climb mountains, swim across the seas,
But the most frightening thing is you and me

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Most circumstances I know my fate
But in this love thing, I don't get the game
Why does it feel like those who give in,
They only wind up losing a friend?
Just cause I love you and you love me,
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be
Fly across the ocean, sing for the Queen,
But the most frightening thing is you and me

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

I'm not sure no, I'm not sure
But if we never try we'll never know
It's better to have loved than not to loved at all
But trying is worst than to stumble and fall
And if we do?
I'd rather it be with you
'Cause at least there will be
Sweet memories

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Perhaps one day, I will let my guard down, face my fears, close the distance and meet my fate. Hopefully before it's too late.