Astounded

So on Sunday we had this epic good luck BBQ for my dad with all our friends and family. There was a little girl there named Zaria and she amazed me. This girl is 8 years old and has more intelligence than I've seen in some adults.

This is the conversation we had:

Z: So what's wrong with your dad?
N: He's very sick and has to go through a long process to get better.
Z: What kind of sickness does he have?
N: He has a disease where things are growing inside his body and these things aren't letting his body work properly.
Z: I know what that is. Your dad has cancer, doesn't he?


Maybe it's just me, but the way she approached it was so mature. This girl has gone through a lot in her life so I'm not surprised she knows more than the average 8 year old, but I didn't realize the extent. I hope this girl goes far; she's a gem.

Anyway, dad has his first round of chemo today and it went very well. We went in at 8:45 and they hooked him up to these fluids right away to keep his kidneys hydrated. At 12, they started the actual meds which lasted for 2 hours and then continued the hydration. He was home by 4 and felt perfectly fine, as though he didn't just experience one of life's most difficult challenges. My dad's a gangster.

Vexation

IGKNAD;GBINA;RIHNAR;OINA;TG A

For some unknown, stupid reason, my e-mail was disabled by Google for the last two days. I couldn't blog, sign into YouTube, access my own goddamn e-mails... NOTHING. Finally it came back just now.

Anyway, dad's starting chemo on Tuesday. He's going to have to go once a week all day for 18 weeks straight. He won't be done 'til December 28th. Luckily, if all goes well, he'll be better by the new year and good to go for his birthday on January 4th.

The most memorable thing that happened was he asked me to create a Facebook page to update everyone about his situation. I did last night and it's up to 180 followers today. Amazing!!!

I hope all goes well for the next few weeks.

Philophobia

There's a certain someone who has filed a request for my heart, but I am afraid of letting him have it. It's a poisonous concoction of insecurity, fear, desire, and anxiety that I just need to swallow and get over with. If I do, I could be very happy.

If.

This song just makes sense right now.

Jazmine Sullivan - Lions, Tigers, Bears

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love you and you love me,
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be
I can climb mountains, swim across the seas,
But the most frightening thing is you and me

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Most circumstances I know my fate
But in this love thing, I don't get the game
Why does it feel like those who give in,
They only wind up losing a friend?
Just cause I love you and you love me,
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be
Fly across the ocean, sing for the Queen,
But the most frightening thing is you and me

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

I'm not sure no, I'm not sure
But if we never try we'll never know
It's better to have loved than not to loved at all
But trying is worst than to stumble and fall
And if we do?
I'd rather it be with you
'Cause at least there will be
Sweet memories

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh no]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Perhaps one day, I will let my guard down, face my fears, close the distance and meet my fate. Hopefully before it's too late.

Trepidation

I decided I'm going to San Diego. I'll come back if they need me, which I doubt they will anyway. This is something I absolutely must to do for myself and each day that passes reinforces my need to go.

I'm getting ridiculously excited for it, too! I've been online shopping for my dorm things and I cannot wait to move in and put the place together. I've been talking with my roommates more today and they seem like great girls. I have a feeling we're all going to get along amazingly well.

Really though, that's the most exciting thing I can talk about for What's Up Wednesday. Sorry for the bluntness of this entry but I'm headachy. :/

Intersection

AAAAHHH so my housing information updated right at midnight and I now know who my roommates are. Well, not really. I know their names, hometowns, and phone numbers. Like the junkie I am, I added each on Facebook so get a head start on creating lifelong friendships. I just hope they're laid-back and cool. The last thing I need are wack roommates all throughout college.

Fingers crossed!

Idiosyncrasy

I'm going to attempt to stay true to my daily blog themes as much as possible.

Let's delve right into Tuned in Tuesdays. My topic: west coast vs. east coast hip-hop.

A lot of people will say, "you're a small town girl, what do you know about rap?" Well, dear friends, I know more than you think. ;) Lately, I've been listening to a looot of rap and getting in touch with my gangster side. Something about rap just draws me in. I think it's the manner of conveying thoughts into a flowing poetic stream of words that match a beat and rhythm. It's an artform; creative and not so easily done. I appreciate its uniqueness and it's revolution from the 80s into today. Like the LMFAO song said, "They said that rap was a fad/but it surpassed rock and roll."

In the early to late 90s, there was a bit of a conflict between the east and west. It was very prevalent then but kind of died down because you don't see too much of the tension today. Then again, you don't see too many west coast rappers nowadays anymore. I won't get too involved in the history because I myself don't know it completely.

But this does leave an open question... what IS the major difference between west and east coast rap?! After much research and experienting, I've come to a conclusion. The wesy focuses on the musical aspect whereas the east favors the lyrical. If you don't believe be, play a Dr. Dre song and then play a Nas song and you will see. West coast rappers and producers experiment greatly with sounds and instruments, Dr. Dre especially. Every song that man has produced has some sort of usical element which makes them hits. Straight up, what other rappers can have crotales playing their riff and STILL be hard core? West coast hip-hop has a very broad use of melodies and harmonies but lyricaly, ehhh they're a little dry. This isn't to say that all west coast rappers are dry in the mouth. The Game and Crooked I are two very lyrial west coast rappers who can get the music as well as the proper wording down to a T. But that's what, two out of how many? Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS love the Snoops like "Gs up, hoes down while you motherfuckers bounce to this." but I will admit, it's not the most poetic of all verses.

East coast hip-hop, on the other hand, is VERY lyrically oriented. A lot of east coast rappers tell stories, Biggie, Nas and Immortal Technique being just a few of the many. Each verse, each bridge, each line is so well-written and straight from the minds of people who have experienced life before the gae of 20. Rappers like Jay, Loso, Biggie, Budden, Wu-Tang Clan, even Q-Tip plus the earlier mentioned all have such clever and effective ways of manipulating the English language in their favor. Anyone who appreciates rap can agree that the east is full of literar geniuses. Musically, though, is a little lacking. If I'm in a zoned out mood, I will listen to east coast rap for the lyrics alone. If I'm in an upbeat mood, I'll turn to something else. I'm not saying they completely lack it, but as compared to the west, the east is clearly more focused on spitting deep lines than they are writing captive hooks. The only rapper I will give major props to is Mos Def; with his interesting array of sound mixed with his symbolic verses, that man is every hipster's gangster escape.

It's a funny situation and reminds me a LOT of that one episode of Hey Arnold! where Dino Spumoni and his lyricist Don Reynolds split up. Dino Spumoni can come up with the most seductive and catching of all tunes, but sucks at the wordage. Don Reynold, on the other hand, has put poetry in motion but has a mediocre and boring beat. Put the two together and they are each other's backbone! I'm surprised there weren't too many collabos between the east and west. They probably could have created gold. One supergrooup that does seem to combine both very well is Slaughterhouse. Every song of theirs has both elements on point. But that's probably because it's a group comprised of a west coast rapper, two east coast rappers and a midwesterner.

Speaking of which, I can't neglect the up and coming midwest hip-hop. The midwest successfully combines beautiful lyrics with catchy tunes that bring them to be another great clan of musicians. Kanye, Lupe, Common, Em... all amazing rappers who have demonstrated an intelligent use of words with a great rhythm to go alonh. Lupe Fiasco is my MOST FAVORITE rapper of all time because, not to be cliche, is real. He and Common can both say what they need to say without lessening their intellect which I think is an important attribute missing in today's music industry. It makes me sad that Lupe is retiring after his next album is released. The rap game needs more souls like him for us avid thinkers who appreciate a scholar.

Since I touched on the midwest, it's only fair I shout out the south's contribution, too. The south has produced some legendary musicians like the Ying Yang twins, Luda, Rick Ross, of course Weezy, Nelly, Mystikal. These rappers remind me of the westerners; catchy but don't say too much. Lil Wayne is probably the only one who has that metaphorical swagger down, but does he ever say much more than "get money and pussy" in a clever way? Some songs, yes, but not too many. As for the rest, they can spit it cleverly, but they never really do say too much.

All in all, each coast and region has their strengths and weaknesses which make them unique and great in their own way. No one region is better than the next because none of them have it ALL. This is my take on the hip-hop game. You may agree, you may not, you may think I need schooling, or you may think I need to stick to my guns. No matter the case, let me have it. :)

Joyride

How AWESOME is this bike I built on urbanoutfitters.com?!



Can you picture me riding this from class to class and along the beaches in San Diego? Oh, how blissful life would be. I'm getting this bike one way or another. Count on it.